Judul tulisan yang diberikan oleh Peter Murphy telah meberikan inspirasi bagi saya untuk melanjutkan satu tulisan di blog ini. Saya ingin juga mengetahui bagaimana caranya orang juga tertarik kepada saya. Begitu saya arahkan mouse ke tulisan ini, dan ‘klik’, saya jadi tahu kalau Peter Murphy memang berjualan ‘kata-kata’ agar orang tertarik mengakses paket kursus online yang ditawarkan. Meski demikian, tulisan yang merupakan buah pikiran motivator perlu kita pelajari. Berikut ini yang saya kutip:
If you are wondering how to get people to like you more, you probably suffer from low self esteem, and feel that other people don’t like you very much. The chances are that this is a false impression and that at least some people like you a lot more than you like yourself.
However, we can all do with a self esteem boost, so here are some effective techniques to get people to like you more.
1. Allow people to connect with you
This doesn’t mean making connections on the latest social networking site; it means in your regular daily life. Allow others to get close to you and to get to know the real you, without putting up defensive barriers against this.
2. Develop empathy with other people
As you let others get close to you and know the real you, take the time to get to know other people well too.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see how the world looks from their point of view. Experience their emotions with them and you will undoubtedly develop a deeper connection.
3. Be reliable
Be someone that others can rely on in a crisis or at a difficult time in their lives. This means you need to be there for people when they feel they need it, not just when you can be bothered to make the effort.
You can either provide practical or emotional support or you can help them get the professional help they need like finding them the phone number of an out of hours plumber.
4. Give people your undivided attention
Everyone likes to feel that they are the center of the universe, so make them the center of your universe, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Concentrate on the other person totally and on what they are saying and doing.
5. Give people what they need
This may be a hug, some encouraging words or someone’s shoulder to cry on. Whatever it is that the other person needs, if you can be the one to give it to them, they will like you more.
6. Be kind and understanding
Don’t criticise. Be polite and accept other people for who they are. Life doesn’t have to be your one person crusade to change others and this usually fails anyway. Just accept people for who they are and they will like you more.
7. Notice the small things
Everyone feels good when other people notice the minor details about them like having lost weight or got a hair cut. Compliment them on these things and they will feel great, and as a consequence, because you were the one who made them feel that way, they will like you more.
8. Put yourself out for people
Offer them a ride if they are having car trouble; hold the ladders for them if they are hanging curtains; cook them a meal if they are feeling ill yet have a family to cater for. It doesn’t have to be a big task, but your effort will be appreciated.
9. Be a good listener
Sometimes, the thing that people want more than anything else is a person to whom they can trust to offload their troubles. If that is you, they will like you a lot more. You must be trustworthy and not judge or break confidences, but otherwise, being a good listener costs you hardly any effort at all.
Memang benar bahwa orang yang tidak merasa disuka orang adalah orang tidak terlalu percaya diri, dan bahkan kurang memiliki harga diri. Sembilan gagasan yang memberikan jalan agar disuka orang memang terasa sederhana, praktis, namun agar susah juga melakukan.
Di awal, kita perlu bersikap terbuka dan allow people to connect with you adalah sebuah saran yang tepat. Dengan banyak menjalin hubungan sosial baru kta bisa mengetahui pasti perasaan orang lain. Gagasan kedua, yang menyuruh kita untuk develop empathy with other people layak menjadi perhatian kita. Empati kepada orang lain dulu, baru bisa diharapkan orang mengenali keberadaan kita. Ketiga, be reliable, yaitu bertujuan mengatakan kepada kita tentang perlu ‘bisa dipercaya’ menjadi sifat dan perilaku melekat dalam diri kita. Orang lain tentunya akan datang kepada orang yang bisa dipercaya lisan dan perbuatannya. ‘Not just talking!’ Berikutnya, give people your undivided attention, membuat kita ingat agar tidak menyepelekan persoalan yang kita hadapi dan kita terlihat serius menyelesaikan masalah tanpa ada embel-embel. Kelima, give people what they need, adalah sikap melayani terhadap kebutuhan orang. Sikap ini memjadi cerminan bahwa kita peduli dengan orang yang di dekat kita.Keenam, ungkapa be kind and understanding, artinya bersikap baik dan memliki pengertian kepada orang lain. Kita tidak perlu banyak mengkritik apapun kondisi orang lain, sebab mereka lebih suka kepada orang bersikap sopan dan menerima mereka apa adanya. Pelajaran ke tujuh, notice the small things, berarti sekecil apapun persoalan yang ada terkait dengan orang lain dan diri kita kita perlu menjadi perhatian, dan jangan diabaikan. Kalau kita memberikan perhatian yang tulus terhadap persoalan yang pada awalnya diabaikan, orang lain bisa memberikan apresiasi yang baik. Dua pelajaran berikut, put yourself out for people dan be a good listener bisa digabung dan memberi makna bahwa kita ini milik orang di sekitar kita, dan telinga kita pun di miliki mereka.
